The Fidelity Wars (pure92cd)

CD and vinyl released on12th July 1999

The Hymn for the Cigarettes, May God Protect Your Home, The Hymn for the Alcohol (new version), I Took Her Love for Granted, Every Little Gesture, The Weight of the Stars, I Stole a Bride, We Were Meant to Be, Fat Kelly's Teeth, Don't Flake Out On Me, I Love Only You

The Hymn for the Cigarettes

No one called, no one wrote, no one phoned,
So no one knew that I was with her on my own.
She smoked on my bed cause she thought it would annoy me,
But I love to watch the girls smoke in my bed.
I love to watch the girls smoke in my bed.
I love to watch the girls smoke in my bed.

How can she love me when she doesn't even love the cinema that I love.
What does she feel if she doesn't have the feeling that I have in my fingers.
This joy I have could lift this ceiling from its rafters but I'm not laughing.

We feel nothing, so we search for nothing, so we achieve nothing, love.

Lucky Strikes remind me of my friends out on the west coast,
Camel Lights remind me of my ex-girlfriend at Christmas time,
Marlboro Reds remind me of giving up in Berlin,
B&H remind me of not giving up but giving in.
B&H remind me of not giving up but giving in.
B&H remind me of not giving up but giving in.

How can she love me when she doesn't even love the cinema that I love.
What does she feel if she doesn't have the feeling that I have in my fingers.
This joy I have could lift this ceiling from its rafters but I'm not laughing.

We feel nothing, so we search for nothing, so we achieve nothing, love.

May God Protect Your Home

I'm tired of boys who fight with girls and stain their sheets,
And girls who tell stories of boys and graze their knees,
And where did you get to smell so sweet,
Is that sweetness for me,
And where did I find these eyes that I found,
They will surely let me down.

And your hair stops short of a line which starts at your neck,
And flows over your collarbone down to your breast,
Where my hand lies ever so gently.

And my hand starts to move down your stomach and in between those thighs,
To a soft warm place I call home and may god protect your home.

There's a lady who cries and builds a shrine for a miscarried child,
And a small boy who cries and cries and cries and cries and cries.
I see these sights with the sleepiest eyes and a heart so contentedly wise and tired,
And now I bathe in the light of the most beautiful angel this side of the sun.

The Hymn for the Alcohol 

Don't start me on the rum, Just because it makes me numb.
Start me on the whiskey I know whiskey is his drink.
You never drank it with me but now you drink it with him,
I'm not good enough for whiskey, not good enough for you.
Let's start drinking wine, we used to all the time.
It used to go to our heads but then you went to his bed.
If the wine stains you lips red then tonight you might forget,
You might not go home to him you might stay here with me.
It is just wishful thinking that all this hard drinking might lure you back to my ramshackle stable,
There's no point in trying, the debutante was lying when she said that she did something that your lips could never do.
And if you know what's true then you know I love you.
Its six months since you left, you must be truly blessed,
Cause you look no less pretty, in fact you may be more so,
If you reap the seeds that you sow, Oh we both know you are going straight to Hell

I Took Her Love for Granted

Hope was propping me up when I met her,
As soon as I saw her I wanted to taste her lips,
So I did,
I was ecstatic for at least six weeks, oh,
Hope was placed in her hands when she caught me she asked me if it hurt,
I told her 'Christ it did.'
And it did,
When she left me every morning, oh,

I feel beautiful when she says I am beautiful,
But she is more beautiful.

I feel heavenly when she says I am heavenly,
But she is more heavenly.

Can't feel disappointed when her hips are that wide but I still feel lonely and screwed up inside,
And the taste of her tongue, it makes me wish I'd given up smoking,
She was a big, big girl she had big ideas,
Like how my heart should be free but I don't want it to be,
I want her, here beside me.

The Weight of the Stars  

I took photos along the journey, a photo of a girl on the bus,
But the film wasn't wound on, the camera was broke so all of the pictures were lost.

There was a photo of her face, she looked about 23,
A photo of her grey flannel dress that was cut just below her knee.

The weight of the stars made the night fall down,
Her hair made the whole town swoon,
My heart was led by her pale skinny legs to the mattress in her room.

No matter what my friends say there's no rhyme or reason,
I know I did something wrong.
Oh she had the wit, she had the knack,
The night didn't seem too long.

The freckles upon her back, the grey hairs amongst the black,
The quiver in her lips when she spoke far too quick,
The lines upon her hands.

The weight of the stars made the night fall down,
Her hair made the whole town swoon,
My heart was led by her pale skinny legs to the mattress in her room.

No matter what my friends say there's no rhyme or reason,
I know I did something wrong.
Oh she had the wit, she had the knack,
The night didn't seem too long.
The weight of the stars made the night fall down,
Her hair made the whole town swoon,
My heart was led by her pale skinny legs to the mattress in her room.

No matter what my friends say there's no rhyme or reason,
I know I did something wrong.
Oh she had the wit, she had the knack,
The night didn't seem too long.

I Stole a Bride 

And every Prince, who lives in Greece,
Will tear themselves to pieces for this beauty,
Born of a swan,
Jesus don't be long, let her body sweat above mine in the summertime.
And was it she who wrote 'Porn is Woman Hatred' on my overcoat,
Christ I need that coat, it really shouldn't be this cold in summertime

When she lies with me, will she pretend I'm pretty, will she forget I'm ugly,
oh I've lived a lie, I stole a pretty bride during the summertime.

Why, must she taunt me so, she still has his sent, she still wears the suitors clothes,
oh I've lived a lie, I stole a pretty bride during the summertime.

And when the swan coupled with the goose, they conceived a holy beauty and they let her loose,
And she caused a war, for ten long years,
By running off with me she caused her husband tears.
And those big clipper ships are heading straight for me and I haven't even kissed her properly.

We Were Meant to Be

I thought you said that you'd phone me this weekend,
Cause at the weekend the phone calls are cheaper.
You left a note but I did not read it,
I threw it away.
I took a tube to the west end of London,
To see a friend who I'd almost forgotten,
He gave me hope that I still hadn't lost you,
I threw it away.

I thought that you belonged to me,
That we were meant to be.

I thought you said that every so often,
We had a love that was better unspoken,
But you, you fool, you fool, you lose.

Fat Kelly's teeth

The spaces between all the towns,
Is where I lay my sweetheart down.
The spaces between her cruellest insults is where I stopped being faithful,
The gaps between Fat Kelly's Teeth,
Distract my eyes from her body,
And as she pulls me to the floor,
I don't feel that guilty,
My trousers are below my knees,
And her skirts above her waist.

But in the cold sober light she's not nearly so pretty,
But if I drink more gin her grace might return.
My sweetheart don't know,
And I sure won't tell her that fat Kelly's teeth have bitten chunks out of me,
And what was I thinking of when I went home with her,
She had sympathy, she had cigarettes,
Now they've all disappeared,
Between her teeth, between her teeth.

And I always forget, how quick the rot sets,
And now that the sun sets, I must go home,
I don't feel regretful, I don't feel ungrateful,
Even though I'm unfaithful I don't feel that bad

Don't Flake Out On Me
 

 Don't flake out on me, Oh you promised you'd write before Easter,
And now you damn well know that it's Autumn, and I missed you through those summer months.

Oh you promised yourself you'd stop drinking and I know it's none of my business,
But you were mighty and graceful when sober, but all that gin, but all that wine.

We will always talk this way,
Tired and slightly jaded,
We will waste our tears and we'll be waiting years,
For the friends who always promised that they'd phone us.

We will always feel this way,
Faintly optimistic,
But we will speak the truth and we will never lose,
Oh the feeling that our hearts could be unbroken.

Don't wimp out on me,
Oh I know you've got the strength of 12 oxen,
I've seen you get through these things before,
Just like you've seen me get through these things before.

We will always talk this way,
Tired and slightly jaded,
We will waste our tears and we'll be waiting years,
For the friends who always promised that they'd phone us.

We will always feel this way,
Faintly optimistic,
But we will speak the truth and we will never lose,
Oh the feeling that our hearts could be unbroken.

We will always feel dismayed, it will only ever be OK.
What's the point in getting laid? We're waiting for the better days.

I Love Only You

In the 1980's I was busy hating,
All of the intangible, the impossibly impractical ideas I'd never understand.

And in the 1990's, it was far too exciting for words,
And now I'm drinking adult drinks and now I have the time too think that sex is so overrated.

Who gave you the right to bruise my little heart,
You tore it right apart, I was saving it for art.
You knew just what to do, so who gave you the clue,
I love no one else, I love only you.

We will capture all of London,
With disposable cameras,
These sights were here before we were born,
They'll be here when we're dead but they'll remember,
They're touched by out lives.

Oh we'll burn all their retinas,
With our patience and our tolerance,
Will kick and moan and spew and scream,
But we'll know exactly what we mean.

Oh who taught you the knack, was it skill or was it luck,
You pulled me into pieces and now I'm truly fucked.
Don't want to be alone, I'm useless on my own I love no one else, I love only you.

The Fidelity Wars is a collection of songs written before we recorded Breaking God's Heart. Only a couple of new songs were written especially for the album; 'We Were Meant To Be', 'Don't Flake Out On Me', 'The Weight of the Stars' and 'Every Little Gesture'. The songs are all themed around a break up, and as I started to put them together I noticed that a certain order made a story. It's a simple story, not booker prize or anything, it goes like this; On 'cigs', 'god' and 'alcohol', your protagonist falls in love with a girl but has constant, unfounded paranoia about the girls infidelity because when they were getting together she was being unfaithful to someone else, (bride). He decides to make a pre-emptive strike and sleeps with another girl (weight), tells her and she gets upset (Gesture). He feels pretty stupid and tries to get her back by pleading (meant to be), but then goes and does it again (fat Kelly's teeth). There's some kind of 'let's remain friends' type resolution on 'Don't flake', but ultimately, he' forced to declare his undying love for her ('I love only you').

Written down like that it seems a bit naff and teenage, but it seems to work and this album seems to be the favourite for the fans, and I like it too. Is it all true? Well it was all written whilst I was splitting up with my girlfriend, Helen, so sometimes it feels like it, there is a lot of that experience in there, but when you take the songs apart and look at what I'm saying, then a lot of this didn't happen to me

.

It's like the sentiment is all true, but not the specifics. It certainly felt true when I was singing it.

The band changed a lot between BGH and FW. Jack hadn't joined officially yet but he did play steel on 'Weight', 'Alcohol' he did some of the funny Theremin - like sounds on 'God', I believe he sings back up  on Flake also. One of the main changes was finding Miti who became our main engineer for a lot of our recordings after this. We met him when we did our first Peel and Lamacq sessions for radio 1. The main thing he did for us was just getting us to sound a bit more Hi-fi without losing too much grit. Most of the making of Fidelity Wars is covered in the original web diary, reproduced below. but first here are a few notes on the songs not covered elsewhere;

'May God Protect Your Home', originally appeared on Devotion Chamber, I always wanted it to have this deep chugging feel to it. That grungy guitar sound was made by the set-up of amps pictured below, basically taking small battery powered amps then putting them through big amps. I don't like these lyrics.

.

'Every Little Gesture' is one of the first songs I wrote at the piano. One of our saddest tunes, I'm not sure if we ever did this live.

'The Weight of the Stars' written especially for the album to plug in a hole in the narrative, a true(ish) story

.

'I Stole A Bride' is one of the fans favourites, and one of my most tortured vocals. This wasn't recorded during the sessions for the album, originally 'Bellyfull of Babies' was going to be in its place, but the record company intervened, though in this case they were right. The song tells the necessary parts of the FW story but also tells part of the story of the Trojan War. Paris has stolen Helen away from Menelaus and the Trojan army are sailing across the ocean to get her back. Paris has gone to all this trouble to get the ultimate beauty but she won't even shag him.

'We were meant to be' one of my few attempts to write a soul song. Sung in a falsetto that I could never do again live.

'Fat Kelly's Teeth'; this song is about as dark as it gets for us. Dirty sex with a boiler in a public lavatory. Too much for some people, but life is like that sometimes.

'Don't Flake Out on Me'; This really is one of my favourites. I think of it as my first proper song. At least it was the first song I wrote and recorded that I wanted to listen to afterwards. It actually gives me tingles. Its about growing up and losing touch with friends, maybe one reason I like it so much is that I really don't sing that much of it, most of it is song by Gina Birch (Raincoats) and Antony.

I Love Only You, is another good song, but a bitch to play live, so we hardly ever did. When we did start to play it live about a year or so later, we were horrified to discover that it sounded like Big Country.

One story that I don't think I've told before happened during FW, was that Travis were recording some b-sides in the studio next door. Miti knew them and we got talking, our videos were by the same director so we had something in common, they are, as they appear really nice blokes. Fran Healy took a particular shine to my 70's keyboard (CP-30 pictured above on the right), and asked to borrow it and I said fine. The next day he asked if we wanted to hear what they had done, now bear in mind that this is before 'The Man Who' and I actually quite like Travis now, anyway we were so full of ourselves after hearing what they'd been recording. (which was admittedly only a b-side) 'Hey, hey well its all over for them now, eh, wait until they see us on Top of the Pops when our brilliant album comes out'. Oh well.

Photos; from top; Fidelity Wars promo picture by Sara Light, various pictures of the band and equipment, allphotos taken by Hefner.

The Original 'Making of Fidelity Wars' Web Diary

The Making of 'The Fidelity Wars'

By Darren Hayman

Summer 1998

Hefner are on the road promoting 'Breaking Gods Heart', but already the live sets feature many songs that are new to the audience. Some are songs that we didn't have time to do for BGH but which we've been playing live for a while like 'God Protect Your Home' and 'Hymn for the Alcohol', though some were newer like 'Hymn for the Cigarettes' and 'I Took Her Love for Granted'.

When not travelling or playing I seem to be writing. I spent a lot of time writing 'Don't flake out on me' and 'Every Little Gesture' at home on the piano. At this point it becomes clear to me, Ant and John that we will be ready to make the second Hefner album sooner rather then later.

Record companies always want you to tour for longer then your sanity will allow but we eventually persuade Too Pure to aim for a Nov/Dec date.

Autumn 1998

In between further bouts of live work we try to formulate a plan for the record. The hardest thing is finding a suitable engineer and studio (Hefner records have always so far been self-produced). We knew we wanted to make the record in London this time, due to many of the songs being about the city and also we wanted this record to have more contributions from our musician friends. Also Hefner always want to record live with no separation (separation means having each musician in a different room), and also no headphones -we like to hear the music back through loudspeakers or just by hearing the instruments themselves. You'd be surprised how few engineers and bands record this way these days.

One place they do still record this way is at Maida Vale, the BBC studios. We had already recorded two sessions there (for John Peel and Steve Lamaq) and everybody was excited by the results. Originally we tried to see if we could make the album at the BBC but that proved to be prohibitively expensive. Instead we asked Miti, who engineered both sessions, if he would be interested in trying to record in this manner elsewhere. Miti was immediately enthusiastic about the idea and so was bought on board.

December 1998

December is spent finding an appropriate studio together with Miti. This gets very frustrating as we keep finding places only to be disappointed at the last moment. During this time though I become more and more convinced that Miti is right for the job, like John he is very calm and knows exactly what he is after when it comes to sound. I'm a lot more manic and indecisive, like Tony who recorded the first record. Its important that things change a little each time round. During the last album, John, was quite new to the band; this time around he is much more involved in the arrangement and production. He has ideas for some brass parts for a few of the songs, particularly one called 'We were meant to be'. We play a show at the Garage where we get to play a brand new song 'The Weight of the Stars' for a large home crowd. The punters don't ask for their money back so we are encouraged.

January 1999

We still haven't found a studio, but it seems for the best as I keep writing new songs. The latest is 'I Love Only You', John thinks its going to be the single but I say the word 'Fuck' in it, oh well. Jack (the fourth Hefner) is another important change in the band since the first record. The instruments he plays (pedal steel, violin, banjo) and the way he plays them add such an unexpected twist to the songs we are keen to get him involved with the record. Jack and I do a few small shows together to find out what the discerning London kids think of the new stuff; they clap, and they don't throw stuff. I'm also keen to get a few of our friends involved with the record. Gina Birch sings with The Hangovers and (previously) The Raincoats, and ever since I wrote 'Don't Flake Out on Me', I have imagined her and Antony singing it Kate-Bush-and-Peter-Gabriel style. I ask her she agrees.

We have the songs, we have talented friends to cover up the cracks, we even have a title and now finally we have a studio. We sweet talk the lovely Maddy at Roundhouse studios, and she agrees to have us for a few weeks as long as we don't leave the toilet seat up.

Early Feb1999

The boring stuff, hiring instruments, working out budgets, cancelling the milk. The other Hefner who release crap hand bag house records are still insisting on using the name, we may have to take them to court, it's a royal pain and badly timed to boot.

15^th Feb 1999

After breaking our backs getting the gear into the studio (yes, Hefner carry their own gear) we are ready to start. For the first time we have an assistant engineer, Simon Morris, who, apart from all the technical fixing type stuff, makes excellent tea. We record 'The Hymn for the Cigarettes' first, as it is probably the least complex in terms of arrangement. I overdub some guitar and Ant does some backing vocals and we're done. Miti wants to do a mix of each song at the end of each day. I agree that this is an excellent idea. When you mix as you record, you seem to know the song better and end up with a braver and more dynamic sound then you would if you spent a few weeks refining everything. In fact 'Brave' and 'Dynamic' could be the best words to describe the way this record is developing. We have time to start 'Don't flake out on me', the idea being that as our friends pop by the studio each one will contribute something until its finished.

16^th Feb 1999

Today we record the two songs that feature Jack on Pedal Steel: 'The Hymn for the Alcohol' and 'The Weight of the Stars'. Disaster strikes though when Simon takes us to the local, 'The Duke of York', which sells Hefner current beer of choice Stella Artois and Thai food. The excellent work rate of the first day is never quite regained after this.

17^th Feb 1999

Today we record 'God Protect Your Home'. It is very, very old, one of the oldest Hefner songs, and due to this, we feel the need to put a rocket up its arse to make it work. I use two baby battery amps wired up to some larger amplifiers. I've tried this before and it makes very chaotic and abrasive guitar sounds. I also desire a certain…. 'quality' for my voice so I decide to smoke several cigarettes before doing a live take. As we play the guitar sound nearly makes our ears bleed and the combination of lots of fags and no food makes me nearly pass out. Despite this, an extraordinary take is achieved. Jack adds theremin, stylophone and radio static and I play some synth. I want a toy electronic drum sound to replace Ants snare drum sound, so Miti samples it. It's the first time Hefner have used a sample! The result of all this impresses everybody. It's the first time on this record that we've surprised ourselves and it seems to get everyone fired up for more. Jack and Ant add some violin and melodica to 'Flake' and we retire exhausted.

18^th Feb 1999

Its time to get the two songs ready for the brass section who arrive tomorrow: 'We were meant to be' and 'I took her love for granted'. John's favourite amplifier breaks down which holds us back a little, but two complete live takes are soon achieved. The golden rule in Hefner seems to be to never over complicate or second guess what we do. Often on days like this where the work comes to us quickly there is a temptation to doubt it and try 10 more takes but it always seems proven that the most instinctive, immediate work is the most heartfelt. This point is proven when I take an hour to get a Hammond organ part right; eventually, in one take I slam my hands around the keyboard in a 'I don't care anymore' manner and that ends being the take we keep.

19^th Feb 1999

Today we record the brass section, we've been looking forward to this for ages. It's also a little nerve-wracking because all brass sections sound different, depending on how they play together, how the instruments blend etc. We hired a three piece brass section; Neil (trumpet), Matt (trombone) and Martin (tenor sax). As soon as they we start to teach them the parts in the control room we know its going to work fine. 'Meant to Be' is as 'soul' as an Essex boy like me can be, and as such has one instrumental part where the brass let rip. They also add just one chord to 'Granted', (even with a brass section we can still be minimal) and a trombone solo on 'Don't Flake out on me'. We also get the guys to improvise something to the end of 'Flake' which is fast becoming everybody's favourite. John decides he wants to here some piano on '…Meant to be.'

'I can play piano, I'll do it if you want?' says Martin (sax).

'Yes, but what I'm really imagining is one of those 70's Wurlitzer pianos.', replies John.

'I've got a Wurlitzer piano in my car outside!'

This was obviously meant to be for 'meant to be'.

Martin does his piano part , I add some Hammond to 'Flake' and then we go to the Duke of York.

20^th Feb 1999

Another exciting day, today we have all the extra singers and players coming in to finish off '….flake.' We've actually already run out of tracks and have to ask Too Pure to hire a DA88 which gives 8 more tracks WooHoo!! First of all Gina Birch arrives to add her voice. Gina used to play in the Raincoats and now has her own excellent band 'The Hangovers'. The idea is that she and Ant will duet on this first half of the song like Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush on 'Don't Give Up'. Both of them have incredibly distinctive voices and I've never heard them together before so I'm pleased when my idea seems to work out. Our friend Pete Astor arrives next to add some guitar. Pete used to play with the Weather Prophets but now has several projects including 'The Wisdom of Harry' and 'Ellis Island Sound'. Pete also works for our publishing company and is like our wizard in the mountains, giving us pearls of wisdom when Hefner are troubled.

Pete seems very reluctant at first because he feels his guitar part is going to let the song down. In actual fact, although very subtle, his part gives t he song an excellent lift on the second chorus.

This song, by Hefner standards at least, is beginning to sound very big. Next up is 'The 12 Oxen Choir'!! (a big song has to end big!). The singers are Simon & Cath (Umbrella Heaven), Kerry (Whistler), Clare, Pete and Jack. We record them twice and the girls once more because the boys drowned them out. There still one track left so Cath and Ant play Triangle and Maracas. We pub, we mix, we go home.

21^st Feb 1999

Most of the songs we've recorded thus far have been the faster catchier ones, its Sunday, we're hung-over, it's time to get mellow. We record 'Belly Full of Babies' and 'Every Little Gesture'. Both songs are extremely simple to play and record, its just a matter of getting the feel right. For 'Gesture' I play the upright piano. John has a little toy key-ring thing which sample sounds and we use it as a rhythm instrument on 'Babies'.

22^nd Feb 1999

'I Love only You' was the last song written for the album and will also be last in the running order. It's a rock song really, I add some electric piano and a melodica. Chris Andrews is from a 4AD band called Cuba. We toured Spain with them back in December. Chris used to come on stage and scratch some records into 'Blind Girl with Halo' in our set, I played some guitar in theirs. It was quite an odd collaboration and one we wanted to repeat for the album. The problem as always when Cuba and Hefner get together is that everybody is pissed by the time we get round to any work. (I wouldn't want you to think that we take making records lightly; we work hard, we play hard).

The rest of the night is a blur to be honest, I remember Chris trying to teach me how to scratch records but…hmm far too much red wine.

23^rd Feb 1999

The morning is spent trying to work out what we did the night before. 'I Love Only You' with Chris scratching on it sounds.. interesting. Miti is the master of the mix however and something quite extraordinary is quickly retrieved from the chaos. The last song we have left to record is 'Fat Kelly's Teeth'. As always we're looking for that little extra something (I think its an out of tune banjo but no-one agrees) when we remember that Roundhouse Studios have recently acquired a fully working harmonium. You have to hear this instrument to believe how great it sounds. You pump the air into via two foot pedals as you play, it makes you very tired very quickly.

24^th to 26^th Feb 1999

The original idea of mixing at the end of everyday has worked out to be an excellent idea. However as Miti and the band get used to the room and the speakers and everything we realise that the mixes got better towards the end of the sessions, so we use these few days to remix some of the first songs; 'Cigarettes', 'God Protect' and 'Weight'. To be honest though we really know already that the job is done, and everybody is very happy. You can spend from here to eternity dotting the i's and crossing the T's, but if its good, it's good, you shouldn't have to fine tune it. Well that's what we told ourselves whilst we got pissed down the Duke of York.