Table for One

Released 6th March 2006
Bruised and bloodied, former Hefner frontman Darren Hayman crawls out from his car wreck life armed with only his battle-scarred telecaster and ukulele for protection. Darren’s been given a right kicking by the music biz, but he’s not down – in fact, he’s smiling ear to ear. In the two years since his last album with The French, Darren has worked for the People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals and Battersea Dogs Home, gotten married, formed a bluegrass band, put on a lot of weight and studied an Art PGCE at Goldsmiths College. “If I don’t work I go nuts, I wasted 6 months addicted to internet chess,” says Hayman. This album is his best so far; until the next one. Real drums and guitars mark a return to the indie folk style of Hefner, but better. “Every time I write a song, it’s better than the last one,” continues Hayman. “I thought it was that way for everyone?”

The songs on Hayman’s debut solo album, Table for One, concern crumbling cafes, dog charities, a broken hearted Doug Yule, retiring school teachers, and air hostesses plummeting to their deaths. It’s not fun in Darren’s head, but it IS fun to watch and listen from a distance.

Darren Hayman, Table for One (Track & Field) David Peschek The Guardian, Friday 10 March 2006 5/5

Late of Hefner, Darren Hayman is London’s laureate of sexual dysfunction, discomfort, and dog-eared under-achievement. After Hefner’s demise, he made a record of sublime, bittersweet electropop under the moniker the French, but found himself prevented from further recording by contractual wrangles.

A free man at last, he is moving into warmer, more organic territory on Table For One. Hayman’s world might seem grimly parochial but prickly moments of recognition lift every song into something sweetly noble and moving. Best is the almost unbearably poignant Doug Yule’s Velvet Underground, which restores a little dignity to the band’s brutally unloved final phase, “with none of the original members ‘cos Maureen thought she’d take a rest”.

As the music wheezes, rattles and chimes around him, you realise he’s the match of Ray Davies, or any of the quintessentially English masters.

Buy Table for One on CD


Or buy the Download here from Bandcamp

The Stereo Morphonium

Originally released 22nd August, 2005.

Darren describes the Stereo Morphonium, a spin-off band formed with his friend Joel Neumatic, as ‘weird freak-out synth rock with no vocals’. They played ‘two fairly hilarious shows’, and their EP, consisting of the tracks ‘The Stereo Morphonium’, ‘Pigeon Box’, ‘Gemini 6’, ‘Plight of the Manhattanite’, and ‘Ozmodiar’, remains available to buy.

Buy The Stereo Morphonium on CD


 

 

Cortinaland – EP

Cortinaland

Originally released 18th July 2005 on Acuarela Records.

 

A five-track EP, Cortinaland consists of tracks taken from Darren’s first solo album ‘Table For One’. Marking a folkier departure from The French’s synths and drum machines, tracks include ‘Leave Your Shoes On’, ‘The Light In Her Room’ (featuring Antony from Hefner on backing vocals and percussion), ‘Crissy M’, the political ‘Little Democracies’, and ‘A Different Kind of Me’, featuring guitar from Dave Watkins.
Originally released 5th October 1998.

 

Buy Cortinaland CD


 

 

Caravan Songs EP

Caravan Songs

Originally released 14th July 2005 on Static Caravan.

A four-song, 7-inch EP released on Static Caravan, the tracks ‘Caravan Song’, ‘Future Song’ and ‘Loft Song’ were written and recorded in Darren’s wife’s uncle’s caravan at Cresswell Towers Caravan Park in August 2004; ‘Welcome To Cresswell Towers’ was written one year previously in the same location. Born out of the intention to create music with ‘a sparse, folky feel’, all songs were initially recorded with soprano and baritone ukulele and a minidisk machine; other instruments were later overdubbed in Darren’s own home.

Local Information

Originally released August 11th 2003

Following their last album with Hefner, Darren Hayman and John Morrison made an entirely electronic album, Local Information, under the name ‘The French’. Now considered by Darren to be his favourite album, the record was featured as a ‘Buried Treasure’ in the September 2009 issue of MOJO magazine.

Vive the French!

By JIM LEDBETTER  Time Magazine Sunday, Aug. 10, 2003

In October 2000, I found myself drinking champagne in an east London bar with Molly Ringwald. I’d had the usual schoolboy interest in the coltish American actress ever since The Breakfast Club; she was visiting town and a mutual friend suggested we meet. Molly wore fishnet stockings and her hair was short and brown. (Was it ever truly red?) We talked about a sitcom she was developing, and about the U.S. presidential race. When the bottle was empty she went off to have dinner at the Ivy with Channel 4 star Graham Norton; I got in a taxi, exhilarated but slightly glum, and went home. A copy of We Love the City by Hefner— a London-based trio somewhere between folk and punk — had just arrived from Amazon. I hit the play button and heard the first line of the first song: “This is London/ Not Antarctica/ So why don’t the tubes run all night?/ You are my girlfriend/ Not Molly Ringwald/ So why won’t you stay here tonight?”

After my freak-out subsided, I realized it was a perfect Hefner moment. Through five albums starting in the late ’90s, the band constantly blurred the lines between life and art — with songs about love-wrecked, angry misfits living in rented outer London bedsits — and produced some of the funniest, most tender independent music to come out of the U.K. in a decade. Hefner appears to have evaporated, but the creative force behind it, Darren Hayman, has formed the French, which this week releases its debut Local Information, a winning collection of story songs from the miserabilist and his electric keyboards.

“I don’t like to say we split up,” Hayman says of Hefner. “It’s just that four or five albums is enough, unless there’s something really new to do.” Hefner’s drummer and guitarist are pursuing solo projects, while Hayman and bassist John Morrison are the French. Why call a band the French? Hayman, who grew up in Essex, explains that due to the antipathy his countrymen have for their neighbors across the Channel, “it’s a kind of litmus test of my audience.”

His audience — somewhere between big cult and the bottom of the pop charts — will be relieved to discover that the essence of Hefner is still there: the realization that the stupid experiences we all have can be the building blocks of art. Hayman’s is the music of false starts and dead ends; like Woody Allen and Philip Roth, he turns unvarnished neurosis into art.

The French sounds much as Hefner did on their last album, Dead Media: sparse organ arrangements that almost qualify as melodies, with occasional blips and bleeps added. Hayman says he had to create a new band to accommodate his increasing push toward electronica: “I don’t think of eclectic as a good thing in a band, and to record the songs the way I want them to sound as a Hefner record would be misleading people.”

The biggest change is that Hayman — at least in his songs — has gone straight and domestic. Not that surprising: Hayman is now 32 and looking for property in Barcelona. In The Pines, a kind of love song between white separatists in the American South, the man who wrote the boozy anthem The Hymn for the Alcohol now proclaims: “I don’t do drink or take no drugs/ But Christ she’s hit the bottle/ Like there’s no tomorrow.” And while Hefner ballads usually chronicled a brief infatuation, many French songs are about something like commitment. In The Stars, the Moon, the Sun and the Clouds, the singer chastises his girlfriend’s scholarly squalor: “It’s all very well/ Learning poetry by heart/ But it doesn’t mean/ We have to live like poets.”

As with so much electronica, there’s a soulless quality to this record, not helped by Hayman’s insistence on recording with a drum machine. His DIY aesthetic has its own appeal, but without guitars to ground it, his plaintive voice risks floating off into nasal helium. But he can still make me laugh. The best track is Gabriel in the Airport, a wicked attack on the pretensions of Peter Gabriel: “And the British Airways girls they sigh/ Saying ‘There goes that Phil Collins guy.'”

Listening to the French is much like listening to the indie-rock god Stephen Malkmus’ solo work; it gives you a wistful yearning that his great band Pavement was still recording, but you’re grateful for anything you can still get. As for Molly, the last time I saw her was in the New York Post, pregnant. There’s a song in there somewhere.

 

Buy Local Information by The French on CD


Or buy the downloads from Bandcamp

Dagenham

Dagenham

 

Originally released 14th July 2003

Dagenham is the debut EP from The French and features five songs; ‘The Animals’, ‘Vanessa’s Birthday’, ‘Living the Wrong Way’, ‘Anne and Bill’ and ‘The Day The Aliens Came’. It’s available on CD only in a ‘hardback book’ cover and the release is limited to only 2000 worldwide.

 

Dead Media

Released 24th September 2001; 2 CD version released 4th July 2011.

In their relatively brief lifetime, between 1996 and 2002, Hefner enjoyed an incredibly productive four-album, multi-EP career. Their beautiful, concise, intelligent songs earned a fiercely loyal, cult audience and the long-term support of legendary DJ John Peel, for whom they recorded innumerable sessions.

Originally released in 2001, their final album, Dead Media , found Hefner reaching out and taking risks. Keen to break free of their indie-folk roots, they cocooned themselves in a home studio with
broken analogue synthesizers, antique drum machines and battery-powered amplifiers. The band’s naivety and guile produced some curiously engaging music, with frontman Darren Hayman’s precise, economic, poetic dissections of quotidian romance draped over awkward, fuzzy beats: something like Cat Stevens covering Warm Leatherette.

Dead Media caused confusion at the time and ultimately lead to the band’s break up. However, songs like ‘Junk’, ‘The Nights Are Long’ and ‘When The Angels Play Their Drum Machines’ are among Hayman’s most adult and affecting essays and stand out among the finest of Hefner’s achievements.

This two-disk reissue tells the full story of Hefner’s valedictory folly, with a hefty 20 extra tracks including the complete ‘Hefner Brain’ EP, B-sides, live tracks, unreleased songs and an exclusive, unreleased remix by electronic music pioneer Daniel Miller (composer of the aforementioned ‘Warm Leatherette’).

Review from http://soundsxp.com/

Article written by Paul M – Jun 12, 2011

Dead Media first appeared in 2001, becoming Hefner’s fifth album in a very prolific four years. I don’t remember any Dylan-esq yells of “Judas” from the back of the auditorium at the time but it certainly wasn’t universally popular with the anoraked teddy-clutching fraternity. An experimental departure from their previous lo-fi produced guitar efforts, it proved to have something of a divisive effect on their fan-base. The cause of the consternation was the fact that the strings of old had been replaced by analogue synths so while lyrically it was as intelligent and witty as ever, musically it was less indie guitar folk and more a midpoint between Joe Meek cheesy electro-pop and early Depeche Mode casio futurism.I don’t think Darren Hayman ever considered this anything more than an enjoyable diversion, one in which another Hefner member, Jack Hayter had more of an input than previously, but the ‘backlash’ killed the band. So was the mixed reception justified? Well, we at SoundsXP loved it at the time, voting it album of the year in our annual writers’ poll (and this in a year that featured the Strokes debut) and listening to it ten years on, I still do. It all remains clearly Hefner and the wonderful material Hayman has produced since suggests he enjoys slapping his pinkies onto the ivories occasionally even now. When the Angels Play Their Drum Machines is brilliant; its rumbling synth backdrop accompanied by cute overlaying bleepy melodies and one of Hayman’s trademark tales of love and lust. Storytelling is of course one of his greatest talents and Alan Bean is Hayman at his best, recounting the tale of the forgotten fourth man on the moon. Another single, Trouble Kid, is glampop but with electronic samples. However it is not all drum machines and keyboard wizardry, there’s the odd pedal steel thrown in to really prod a finger into the ear of the narrower minded listener, with The King of Summer another highlight, with its languid country barroom blues.If none of this has convinced you that you need to splash your cash then maybe the extras will, with the original fifteen track LP boosted by a swathe of additions; old b-sides, radio session tracks, remixes and the Hefner Brain EP. In other words an even more stunning 35 tracks over two discs.

Buy Dead Media on 2CD


We also have limited stock of the original Dead Media CD release


Or buy the download from Bandcamp

 

 

 

 

 

Alan Bean – single

Alan Bean CD1

Alan Bean CD2

 

Originally released 27th August 2001

 

A song about the fourth man to walk on the moon (‘the Ringo Starr of astronauts’, as Darren puts it), ‘Alan Bean’ was released on 2 CDs, the first including the b-sides ‘Horror Show’ (intended ‘to sound a bit like Missy Elliot’s “Supa Dupa Fly”’, claims Darren) and ‘A Better Man’ (a duet with Amelia Fletcher), the second alongside ‘Just Take Care’, and ‘Charlie Girl’ (with a drum loop ‘sampled from someone so incredibly famous I couldn’t possibly mention’). The 7-inch includes two remixes by Rothko and Munit.

 

Buy Alan Bean CD-1


 

Buy Alan Bean CD-2


 

Buy Alan Bean on 7-inch